Lost and never found!

Photo Curtsey @ Subhashish Sarkar

I think I should get a medal for consistency! I am as regular as clockwork! If I were a woman, you know what that would mean!? Well my 'period' is a little stretched out! I do it roughly about once a year! But I'm getting better now....My latest being 2 months!!!

Oh, shut up dirty minds! I'm talking about losing phones! Or atleast managing to get them incapacitated! Maybe I should get a copyright on the phenomenon..Why not? People do associate me with it! I could get famous for it you know! There is nobody that I know who does it as beautifully as I!

I have a sister  who religiously manages to lose all her contacts from her phone every couple of months! Now when a quiet little status appears on Facebook asking for friend's contacts, none of her friends even bother raising an eyebrow! Its as if everybody has been somehow expecting it! I tell her its her genetic programming! Her husband, my brother-in-law says its in our blood, hence the same pattern! But that is where you are mistaken! Each of our skills is vastly different! I have perfected my art over countless lost phones! As has she over numerous losses! I bet that she can now loose all numbers with the touch of a button, even in her sleep! While we each are talented in our own way, it is improper to club together our contrasting talents!
My last phone, a reasonably expensive black berry bold, I managed to pour coke over it!! And no, as a lot of people have suggested, there was no alcohol in it!!(Maybe then I would have been better coordinated!)
A couple of phones before this one, I managed to leave it behind in a pub! Though I went back immediately within 10 minutes, it  had vanished!
The one before that had gone into the the swimming pool with me...Well ofcourse I hadn't deliberately jumped in with the phone , but had got pushed into the pool fully clothed!! With my phone, handsfree, wallet, car keys etc everything on me! My only fault was that I had ended up at the party late as I had a meeting to wrap up, and by the time I arrived, everybody else was drunk!
Do you see the pattern here? How destiny has been quietly conspiring away towards my achieving greatness?

Anyways...the one before that had accidentally, And I insist 'accidentally' fallen in the pot in the loo! As contents of the pot were yet unaltered I had picked up the set and bravely tottered out! ( I admit I was a little inebriated). As I was closing the door to the loo and narrating my sad story, I hear a shriek! The hostess, a very dear friend from kalkaji insisted that I go right back and "flush that thing down"! No amount of cajoling would pacify her and she would not let me join back at the game of cards unless I had flushed my poor phone down and had gotten myself literally fumigated! Well, sufficient to say I did manage to smuggle it out from under her nose under very perilous circumstances!

I think the one before that conked off on its own! I was being a cheapskate, and had picked up a fully loaded Chinese phone from Dubai. A couple of years back, if any of you had seen me hanging out from balconies, sticking my head out of cars, with my phone attached to my ears, that would be me on my Chinese phone,  trying to catch a bit of reception! In that phone, every conversation was a like jigsaw puzzle! Every sentence had 3-4 words dropping out, so I had to fill it up fast to make sense of the conversation!! I think it added a new dimension to my personality! It sure does come in handy now when I'm drunk! All I need to hear is a couple of words and I can piece together an entire conversation!!

Before the Chinese handset, I think I had a flip phone, which had a very unfortunate accident! I don't exactly remember the details but this I do remember that it had ended up in two different pieces! Maybe I had sat on it when it was open....I don't remember.

There were a couple of them more in the middle somewhere, but I'm sure you get the drift by now! You do see that its been destiny and not me that has been shaping up these events!
Right now I have bought the cheapest handset I could find, and about to give my blackberry for repairs! So come on destiny! Now is the time! Hit me! Take me to greater heights!