Saddi Dilli, Dil, Fraandship and more...

Photo Courtesy @ Subhashish Sarkar

You know, I recently replied to one of my aunt's blog regarding a Delhi vs Bombay discussion, and that got me thinking! I thought why not indulge in that thought for a little while more.
Well, specifically the sense of belonging you get from a place, even though you are not originally from there...in my case - my adopted city - Delhi.
I have of course shamelessly copied parts of my own reply to my aunt...but in my defence, I did want to continue with the same train of thought.

To begin with, I have lived in Bombay, Calcutta and Delhi for various time frames, before settling down in Delhi for the past 8 years...There is no indifference or standoffishness of Bombay here...But somehow this city gives you a kick on the backside and gets you ready to take life head on! Yes, it is aggressive, yes it is loud and crass, Yes its' language liberally peppered with BC's and MC's takes a hell of a lot of getting used to, yes there is a culture shock, yes it has men scratching balls on every street corner, yes it's retrograded views on women makes you want to hang your head down in shame, but somehow, in-spite of it all this city kind of makes a survivor out of you! Now that I have lived here and survived, I feel literally invincible! No, seriously! I love being here!

When I first went to Bombay to work, it made me feel like a lonely blob of cork bobbing up and down in the vast sea of indifference...I was aghast that one had to take time to go meet friends!! Coming from calcutta, that was the ultimate travesty! We bongs are used to the "adda" culture. Friends are extensions of our own selves. We consider it our birthright to drop in on any friend unannounced or at extreme short notice. Come on...Isn't that what friendship is all about? We don't go - hey, are you free next weekend? No? What about the weekend after that? lets catch up sometime! Of course I do have friends who have great social lives in Bombay - as my Aunt puts it The "Muah Muah" air kissing brigade! Naah...not for me! I prefer the real thing!

As a bong one is literally brought up on the evils of "foreign land" from a very young age, or at least I was! Especially regarding Delhi - Its "unfriendly" and people are crass and aggressive to "there is no culture" to everybody in the city has only one outlook - to hoodwink you out of your precious possessions! to nobody gives you correct directions - people will lead you in the opposite direction etc...I had heard them all!
So when I shifted to Delhi, you can imagine my apprehension! But you know...from day one the city just kind of took me in its arms and said welcome home! I know I sound filmy and melodramatic but it was kind of life changing...Complete strangers welcomed me into their lives and homes...have been the best of friends with some of them since then and made scores of new friends too! And funnily, not once have I got wrong directions in my 8 years here nor has it been somebody's life mission to dupe me!
Of course I met a lot of different kinds of people....and still continue to do so... I met and made friends of the Saptamber and Fraandship variety too, and sorry to sound prissy and judgemental but I would cringe internally everytime I would be in public with them and they would open their mouth! ! But hey...some of them were/are really nice people!
Oh and then funnily there was this "Delhi"girl I met at a party a couple of days back! Born and brought up in Delhi! We were having a get together at a friends place and some more friends had dropped in...She was along with them. She looked perfectly sober but after the evening was over, to my utter amusement, she did not know her way back home! Numerous direction attempts and countless lefts and rights later she still was completely clueless!! In fact I remember her asking me when I told her to take the first left - "How will I know that's the first left?" And no, she did not have dyed hair! But that was indeed a pure blonde moment!

Then there are also people who have come here from outside, stay here and still crib about everything in this city....If its so bad, then why don't they just go back to where they came from! Usually, and in my experience about 95 % of them from are Calcutta. Or maybe I get around Bongs more...Oh, don't get me wrong..most are seniors, pretty successful in their careers....and there are no jobs or money in Cal is there? Everybody knows that!! Why risk a good thing? Hypocrisy? Sorry, what's that?
But mostly, it was pure gems all the way...

Funnily, it really irks some of my friends from Calcutta, that I get a sense of belonging here in Delhi rather than in Calcutta. As if it is some kind of an ultimate betrayal! This is home! I found my groove here..I mean our discussions have literally bordered on crazy getting on downright ugly about why there shouldn't be more a sense of gratitude towards Calcutta from my side! Why? No really, why? Only because I have stayed there a number of years? It really gets my goat when people try to force their opinions down your throats! These are also friends who would not be happy with your moving on in life and insist on dragging you back to the mud pit. For some all Delhi people are about "flaunting brands" and are all "classless" people! I wonder what gives them the misconception of being very classy when they are clawing at others? Somehow I get the image of a smelly dirty alley cat trying to claw its way into a nice comfy room and then lashing out at not being able to get the door to open! Anyways, I guess I haven't been able to embrace my Delhi spirit completely, else I would have not given a damn!

Though like any other delhiite, I guess I too indulge in my fair share of bitching about certain aspects of the city...Traffic sure is a favourite one! But then I remind myself, think hell holes like Calcutta and Bangalore and thank your stars!
I have not seen most of the city yet, And I am yet to take a bus ride(Though the autowallas have been a nuisance enough thank you very much!), Still awaiting my first metro ride, ....So much to do , so much to look forward to....And I definitely plan to do it here....they say na home is where your heart is...maybe my soul belonged here!

Yes, this city has definitely given me the aggressiveness to take life head on, the courage to always speak my mind, and the strength to live life on my own terms!

That said, I still think that there is something in Calcutta that Delhi has a long way to go to catch up!! And that's the Calcutta biriyani! I've done Karims, Saleems, Deez, Chote Miya, Bade Miya, and handis from almost everywhere in Delhi, but baby, it just don't match up! Till the time the Cal guys keep that rocking I guess I shall keep going back for a fill...